When we love our partner, there are some things we'd better avoid saying.
They are unable to guess what we are thinking or wanting. They ignore that often we say the opposite of what we feel, stemming from our own inability to describe what we are going through in the moment.
We've been conditioned to play shyly, to be so subtly passive-aggressive that sometimes our tone is sharper than a knife cutting our love, until we both bleed from it. Still, there is a better way, but for that we have to be real first. We have to decide not to play games.
Often times, women are very famous for saying the opposite of what they think, creating unhealthy behaviors that can ultimately lead to relationship instability.
But instead of saying something we don't mean, why not try saying exactly what we're thinking and in the process, see how much that can strengthen the communication and the relationship in the end.
You should avoid saying "I'm fine" when I'm not
This may be our most famous lie, but the truth is we're not really doing well.
Maybe we haven't even been upset or triggered by the person we love, but we use this phrase to try to create one of two situations.
The first being that we hope that the person we love will find out what is wrong. Not only is it unhealthy, it is also immature. We can't expect someone to guess why we're upset, or think it's a big deal, unless we make the choice to discuss how we are feeling.
The second is that we are overwhelmed and now is not the time to discuss what is bothering us. It's not helpful to just say, "I'm fine," when I am not.
We need to speak to our partner with the same openness and honesty that we expect from them. In a sense, the way we deal and talk with becomes the lesson of how we want to be spoken to.
If the person did something upsetting, then just tell them. Not in a passive-aggressive manner, but stating precisely what he did, whether it's because he forgot to empty the dishwasher, get some milk on the way home, or because he did not send a message to warn of his delay.
Just say what made you angry, not in an accusatory way, but rather by saying: I feel frustrated because (insert reason). But, if you're not ready to discuss it, then say, Yes, I have some resentment about (insert reason), but I'm not ready to discuss it yet. But I'll let you know when I do.
This makes communication easier, and also lets our partner know that we trust them with how we feel, and that we are not looking to start an argument, but rather to talk about it rationally to understand each other.
You should avoid saying "I don't care. "
It's quite the opposite.
When we say we don't care, we come across as flippant or as having little opinion on the matter.
Whether you're asked what movie you want to see, or what you want to eat, give your opinion.
Don't try to go with the flow or let your partner decide all the time. Speak.
Your partner is with you because he appreciates and respects you, and that means he cares about your preferences and opinions.
This topic was modified 9 months ago by WaleHub
This topic was modified 8 months ago 2 times by WaleHub